yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
