Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
