You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
