TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
