it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
