im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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