New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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