I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
