never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
