the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
nutella sex= disaster
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
where are you?
Hypothermia
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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