He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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