i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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