If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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