a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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