so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
