Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
