Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize