Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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