dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
