but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
