My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize