her vagine was all disorganized.
birth control should be required to get into college
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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