So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When are your genitals available?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
