My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
