Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
