I think my fart just growled at me.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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