Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
