what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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