dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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