He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
