where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
