We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
it's like heaven, but drunker
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
