yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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