weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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