your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize