I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
