I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize