So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
