Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
