I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
only you would photoshop your dick
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
