Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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