i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
