I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
