I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
