So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
