Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize