This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
