Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sext me about skeletons
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize