Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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