Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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