i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
