my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
