we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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