AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Dear god my vagina.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
