i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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