i just google imaged poop.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
